"Hand of God", indeed.
There is a certain kind of person that, only a generation ago, might have balanced a bucket of water over a door and called it a good prank. I will take the liberty of placing this person in a broad category that I call morons.
With technlogy becoming increasingly affordable, its awesome power is now within the grasp of the common man. Don't be fooled, however. The common man will do what he has been bred and conditioned to do for generations. It is his privilege...his birthright.
Today this same moron has discovered a computer for only a dollar a day, and that "innernet thingy". Remember though; the tools have changed, but the game has not.
Armed with a computer that's still overpriced and a 'jacked copy of PhotoShop, he sets out to prank the world. He salivates at the prospect and trembles with anticipation. He takes an ordinary photograph of some dark clouds and transforms them into this. He's certain you'll be thankful for having witnessed this miracle. I for one find this an insult to my intelligence. Even to my amateur eye it appears more like this.
This technology has much more important applications, such as blackmailing your boss to advance your career. Now that is an endeavour worthy of my respect. As an example, take this innocent picture of my boss with an unidentified woman on the beach. For the record, they don't know each other and have never met. However, through the miracle of modern technology, I can introduce them.
Don't they look cute together? I think so.
Today I received a spam with subject line "Viagra - Use it for fun!".
NO WAY!!! I thought it was only prescribed to stop you from rolling out of bed at night. Thanks for the free advice. It's just possible that I was the only person left who didn't know what it was for.
A few years back, my boss was so excited about this newfangled email thing that he joined every mailing list under the sun. Not many months later, he took himself a new high-maintenance mistress named SPAM. In complete innocence, he called me up and said "I keep getting these email offers for Russian mail-order brides. Could they be for you, accidentally addressed to me?".
Oh, you've caught me red-handed. You see, I've secretly installed a program on the mail server that redirects incoming spam. The program intuitively knows that I'm single and desperate, so naturally the Russian mail-order bride emails you've been receiving SHOULD have been delivered to me. Clearly I've switched our email addresses around. Fear not though; I'll correct the problem by end of business day.
Come to think of it, this also explains the abundance of emails I've been receiving that promise to put the ram back in my rod, you crusty old fart. Evidently those belong to you.
Sincerely,
The Tech Guy
The People Pleaser
A certain coworker and I are at odds about the importance of the company xmas party. Rumor has it that failing to appear for a second time will brand me as being "not very well liked".